Bottom of a Sack

MONKEY: What the heck have you been doing? 

DAH: Stuff. Being. Living. 

MONKEY: Wow. Lots of details there. How long has this been going on? 

DAH: All my life. 

MONKEY: No, no, no. You know what I mean. How long has THIS -- what you're doing now -- been going on? 

DAH: I guess since sometime early in 2016. 

MONKEY: That's, like, more than two years ago! 

DAH: Yes. 

MONKEY: And what explanation ... wait, I mean EXCUSE ... do you have? 

DAH: I think I took a couple of turns and ended up in a cul-de-sac.

MONKEY: Cul-de-sac? What is that? French? 

DAH: "Bottom of a sack." 

MONKEY: I don't get it.

DAH: That's the literal translation. It means a dead end street. 

MONKEY: Dead. That isn't good. 

DAH: Nor is end.

MONKEY: So, what do you do? Bust out through somebody's yard?

DAH: I think I need to turn around and go back, actually. 

MONKEY: Why? Not tough enough to bust out? 

DAH: I guess that's a choice, but busting out can do a lot of damage. 

MONKEY: Yeah. Nobody likes a loser wrecking their property.

DAH: They don't. And wrecking something is what might mark me as a loser, at least in my own mind.

MONKEY: You need to get out of your head, man.

DAH: I'm thinking ... 

MONKEY: Thinking? I just told you to get out of your head! 

DAH: If I go back and make a different turn, maybe I can find a better road, and I won't have to wreck anything by busting out.

MONKEY: I still think busting out is an option.

DAH: Yeah, me, too. But not my first choice. 

MONKEY: And what about that old saw, "you can't go back."

DAH: I can't go backward in time, that's true.  

MONKEY: Like to early 2016? 

DAH: I can't do that. But I can reconsider my situation and decisions, and maybe make some choices that get me going on a new road. 

MONKEY: Turn your car around and get out of the dead end? 

DAH: I don't think the road closed down behind me. 

MONKEY: So, you can still take a different route? 

DAH: And look at this as a side-trip, I guess.

MONKEY: A pretty long side-trip. More than two years! 

DAH: Maybe I just had to park for a while, look at the map, that sort of thing. 

MONKEY: Maybe you took a nap!

DAH: Maybe I did. 

MONKEY: Well, wake up! It's boring here at the bottom of a sack. 

DAH: OK, OK. I'll see what I can do. 

MONKEY: Thank you!

DAH: My pleasure, I guess. 

DAH is me, David Anthony Hance.

Monkey is pretty helpful, actually.

Up the Hill

DAH: Want to walk up the hill? 

MONKEY: What's up the hill?

DAH: I don't know. I just looked at it and thought I'd walk up it.

MONKEY: There's no point in walking up the hill if you don't even know what's up there. There's no incentive.

DAH: It's a nice day.

MONKEY: Nice day? What does that mean? And what does it have to do with the hill?

DAH: Well, it's sunny, and not too hot. There are some interesting clouds, fluffy clouds, blowing around. I looked out the back window, and thought it might be nice to go up it. Closer to the sky, too.

MONKEY: Incrementally closer to the sky, I suppose. But not much closer, in any kind of real or useful way. And still no incentive to go up the hill.

DAH: I just want to.

MONKEY: You just feel good.

DAH: Yeah, I guess I do.

MONKEY: Why do you feel good?

DAH: Looking out the back window and seeing the hill, I guess. And the blue sky. And the interesting clouds. It just made me feel good.

MONKEY: I don't understand how just looking at stuff can make you feel good.

DAH: I'm not just looking. When I take the time to look, I get feelings and ideas. I see possibilities, in my head. And the more I look, the more possibilities I see.

MONKEY: Possibilities for what?

DAH: For anything, for everything. They change all the time, the more I look.

MONKEY: When you look at anything?

DAH: Pretty much. But when I look out, at a big open view, like at the ocean, or up the hill at the sky, I tend to think bigger, happier, more hopeful thoughts and wider possibilities. More optimistic.

MONKEY: Usually you're looking at your desk and your computer screen.

DAH: Then my thinking gets smaller. I focus on all the stuff I have to do.

MONKEY: That doesn't sound too great.

DAH: It isn't.

MONKEY: Sounds like you ought to spend more time looking at the ocean and up the hill.

DAH: Bigger thoughts there, and more opportunity and hope.

MONKEY: So, why do you ever look down, at your desk, at your computer.

DAH: Because they're part of it, too, somehow. Part of it all, part of me. Plus, that's how I share.

MONKEY: Share?

DAH: All the ideas and hope and opportunity of the big view.

MONKEY: Oh, right. I get it, I guess.

DAH: I have to capture the big stuff from the hill and sky and ocean. I have to capture it somehow and share it with other people.

MONKEY: So they can see it, too.

DAH: So they can see part of it. Or so they can see what I see, or part of what I see, and understand why it matters, and maybe care themselves, too.

MONKEY: Think big, then focus.

DAH: What's that?

MONKEY: It's what you used to have on your business cards.

DAH: Right, that's right. I've got to have that again.

MONKEY: So, shall we go up the hill?

DAH: Ready?

MONKEY: Ready.

DAH is me, David Anthony Hance.

Monkey is.

Originally posted somewhere else 29-Apr-2009.